Thursday, July 28, 2005

.......

well... it's been since a while i did last post in my blog..
there are so many things that have been going on recently... nothing that pleases me much... all the bad thing, worst case scenario.. arghh.. why the hell every bad thing that happen to me so fast.. after one another.. is there something wrong with me..? is there any big mistakes that i've done that i should be punished like this..?

i know that i've done many mistakes, sins... sometimes, it's out of my control.. everybody and i mean everyone in this world nowdays make mistakes.. but i dont deny that there are many others that have more problems, more sins and more headache than me.. but why? i know that He is testing me and in the other hand, that's the way that i pay for my sins that i've done in years.. but not as bad as now.. i'm not mad at Him for giving me this, but sometimes i felt it's too much.. i'm not as good as others.. sometimes i will be mad at myself when something bad happened.. not only for myself but to others to...

i dont really know what will happen to my life.. i tried to mould it as good as i can but nothing seems to be happening.. NONE OF IT..!!! what the fcuk happened in my life...!!!
err.. sorry for the emotional moment.. well, i dont think its neat tho story those of my problem in here.. just wanna do something that can take my mind out of it.. yare yare..

it's not like i dont to settle the problem of facing the facts, but when i do that.. it really sads me and sometimes it can make me angry.. it been already a few days, i rarely talk to my housemates and only if there's something i need or want to ask or they want, then i'll talk.. it's not like i dont want to talk or being happy with them, but if i do so.. may be it will someway or somehow, it will irritate them although it will happen uncounciosly.. i know they wont be mad.. but for me, its unappropriate...

i dont really know what to say right now... just ................................................

No comments: